Kyle's job in Windy City starting to blow

Plus: Yellow Wasps; Mona Lisa is 69 percent pleased; Somebody help the '72 Dolphins change their Depends; Pussycat Dolls a hit in Iran
So this guy I know, Kyle, goes into work everyday and gives everything he has into helping his employer present a better product. Kyle is fairly new at his job – he started work there in the spring – but is considered somewhat of a leader because of the position he holds in the company. Kyle has struggled a bit, but his company is doing really well. However, everyday Kyle hears and reads that his employer is doing well, much better than forecasters of this type business expected, not because of Kyle's contribution, but despite of it. The company is excelling because some of Kyle's co-workers – those workers in damage control, if you will. More and more Kyle is hearing about how he should be replaced, take a back seat to a guy who many people think can do a little bit better and carry the company to the top. This despite the fact that the other guy has been on leave of sorts from the company for the past 15 months. If you haven't guessed it by now, this Kyle I'm talking about is Chicago Bears quarterback Kyle Orton, who continues to take abuse from fans and newspaper columnists and radio talk show hosts. Sunday, Rex Grossman received a thunderous ovation when he entered the game, replaced Orton and led the Bears, now 10-4, to a touchdown drive and subsequently a win over the Atlanta Flacons. To say Grossman, who has been injured all season, led the team to victory is a stretch equivalent to that of that elastic Fantastic Four dude. We all know it's the Bears defense – or damage control unit – that has this team heading for the playoffs. But still Kyle has to hear it everyday. True, he was pitiful Sunday night, connecting on just two of his 10 pass attempts. Still, it's got to be tough, particularly to a kid just out of college and on his first job to hear 55,000-plus observers cheering for cold weather while booing the cold, unproductive rookie. If that happened to me at my work place, I'd be hiding in the bathroom. But not Kyle. He's already a pro. He may not be destined for the corner office, but don't expect him to resign to working in the mail room, either.

It's time for my alma mater, Emory & Henry College, an NCAA Division III team, to break down and play NAIA member UVa-Wise on the gridiron. The schools are 90 minutes apart, and a football rivalry has limitless potential for the two colleges and the community. UVa-Wise began its football program in 1991, and the two did meet in a home-and-home series in the mid-90s. Emory & Henry won both games, but has refused to play the Highland Cavaliers since. About 97 percent of Southwest Virginia is in favor of seeing the rivalry take shape, but a few Waspers are holding out. The dissenters include the president and a handful of administrators at E&H, who are fearful of losing students to UVa-Wise. Take it easy, guys. It's not the result of a football game that will have students flocking to Wise as opposed to E&H, it's the tuition costs, which, of course, is far less expensive at public UVa-Wise than at private Emory & Henry.

The British weekly "New Scientists" reported last week that a group of scientists, using emotion recognition software, have determined that Mona Lisa was 83 percent happy, 9 percent disgusted, 6 percent fearful (but not of the UVa-Wise football team), and 2 percent angry (at the E&H administration). Sounds like a woman. …My pal Chad in the J.C. is the only person in Tennessee who was not rooting for the state's founding father, Peyton Manning, and the Colts to go undefeated. "The only teams that I want to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl are either the Dolphins (again) or the Cowboys," he said. Speaking of the 1972 Dolphins, I want them to just go away. Yeah, we know you guys were undefeated back in the Stoned Age '70s, but stop popping the corks on the champagne each time another team fails to equal your accomplishment. That's just rude. Go play some bingo, you old coots. And I think Mercury Morris is actually from Uranus. (You can never make enough Uranus jokes). Morris would hold a press conference if one of his former teammates passed a kidney stone. …Vinny the Chin has died at age 77. …Iran President Muhsin Muhammad, no wait, he plays for the Bears, uh, yeah, here it is, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has banned Western music from the country's radio and TV stations, saying, "blocking indecent and Western music from the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting is required." Ahmadinejad )I think you need to pull your tongue out of your mouth to pronounce that name correctly) made the comments from his palace, where the Pussycats Dolls "Don’t Cha" could be heard playing in the background. By the way, my new favorite Christmas song is the Pussycat Dolls singing "Santa, Baby." Wow!

So long and good night and good luck!