Merry Christmas my fellow footballers

Plus: Dreamy and cheerful gifts; Mohr-on Jets fans; Saddam wants Millen gone, too
Tis the season, right? We are firmly into the Holiday season, and now we're just days away from Christmas. Yipppeeee! Given that, and the fact today may be the last blog entry of 2005, we're going to do it – the Holidays, that is – Third and Long style. To get you in the Holiday spirit, I give you the photo at left of the lovely Celina of the Houston Texans cheerleading squad, dressed in an adorable little Santa suit. Are you like me and love hot babes dressed like Santa? To see more of Celina, follow this link to visit her photo gallery. Oh, and the Colts gals also were cheering in the spirit of Santa Sunday. Where's the frickin' mistletoe? The cheerleaders looked great even if the football team did not.

Give the gift of hope...and poll dances
If you're still out there shopping, Fox Sports.com has some neat gift ideas that range from a customized Matt Leinart J-E-T-S jersey ($89.99) to tickets to the Bush Bowl between the San Francisco 49ers and the Houston Texans ($64) on the last day of the NFL season to a hideous-looking New York Yankees World Series jacket ($250). Going back to the cheerleader theme, the Philadelphia Eagles have a spectacular lingerie calendar and DVD set about the making of the lingerie calendar. Handy! You can purchase those items on the Eagles cheerleaders Web site, which is so hot in itself, viewers are cautioned that the site "contains age-appropriate content." …Along the sexy lines, you could have placed a bid on E-bay to buy your buddy a date with Carmen Electra, but the former Baywatch beauty backed out citing one man's massive, uh, bid. Electra said, according to the article, she would have felt obligated to sleep with the bidder. Of course she would. However, you can still purchase Electra's poll dance exercise DVD for around 35 bucks on E-bay.

Mohr crap from J-E-T-S fans
Comedian Jay Mohr writes in his SI.com column today that J-E-T-S fans are the worst on the Web, constantly posting to Internet chat sites the most negative garbage about their team and its coach, Herm Edwards. "You would think that Edwards hurt (Chad) Pennington's arm and kicked (Curtis) Martin in the knee shortly before kickoff each week," Mohr writes.

By the way, the Jets have moved up two sports to 27th in the latest ESPN Power Rankings. Dr. Z on Sports Illustrated.com has Gang Green 26th.

It has been 41 years now since the Cleveland Browns won an NFL title. That's 287 in Dawg years.

Did you know there are no January 1 bowl games this year?

Cyber geeks go after Millen, too
I posted a story Monday about Detroit Lions fans staging a protest this past Sunday, calling for the firing of team president Matt Millen. Fans brought signs, posters, and many wore the colors of the opposition that day for what turned out to be a 41-17 thumping to the Cincinnati Bengals. So now, in this age when any schome can post his or her opinions on the Web, uh – just like Third and Long, I guess – some Lions fans have created Fire Matt Millen Web sites. Some of the best are at firemillen.com and firemillen.net. These sites offer some really cool Photoshop images featuring a variety of current and historical figures calling for Millen's head, including this one of Saddam Hussein, who more than likely would be more than willing to do away with Millen's noggin. Also on the sites are, of course, petitions to sign and T-shirts to purchase. Looking around at these sites made me curious. Jay Mohr said that Jets fans are the worst on the Web, right? So, there must be a site calling for Herman Edwards to be canned. Yep, there is. A quick Googling turned up this gem: www.fireherm.com. And if you want to start your own Web site calling for a coach to be fired, Redshirted.com will be happy to sell you the domain name. FireJoeGibbs.com and FireLovieSmith.com are among the most expensive at $250 each.

Don't do it Red Sox fans. Don't jump. It's been a lot of fun today listening on the Web to Boston sports talk radio station WEEI. I think the ladies are the most upset because Johnny Damon will have to shave and cut his locks. The best quote I've heard so far is, "So long hairball Jesus. You'll be missed."

My pal Johnny Stripclub -- his name has been changed, of course -- tells me he sometimes gets lap dances for as low as 10 bucks. Just thought I'd mention that in case anyone is interested.

That's it for now. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, and I'll see you back here in 2006. Oh, and be sure to watch the J-E-T-S surprise the Patriots on the last Monday Night Football game to be broadcast on ABC Dec. 26.

So long and good night and good luck ...and enjoy Celina!