Jets '06 season likely a bust, so why not sign this pair?

League sources tell Naked Bootleg – here we go again with this crap – that the New York J-E-T-S are preparing for a future without quarterback Chad Pennington. The Jets have asked Pennington to take an $8 million pay cut to help the team get under the salary cap. Pennington and his agent, Tom Condon, have balked at the team's offer. Seven of Pennington's teammates were cut earlier this week and running back Curtis Martin agreed to have his deal restructured to help the rebuilding squad increase cap space. Reports, from our unnamed source, or course, say the Jets also may ready to cut ties with Pro Bowl center Kevin Mawae. If that's the case, new GM Mike Tannenbaum and rookie head coach Eric "I Dream of" Mangini must find competent replacements. So who can take the place of Pennington and Mawae? We here at Naked Bootleg hear the SOJ's (Same Old Jets) could be looking to grab Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler with the No. 4 pick in April's NFL Draft. Those rumors, however, could have been floated by the Jets in a ploy to pressure Pennington accepting the pay cut. As for Mawae's replacement at center? Well, what do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhino? Ele-if-i-no! As far as we can see the Jets' '06 season is going to be a bust – again. That said, why should the team not sign the two "prospects" in the photo above? The quarterback in the photo already has a Jets jersey.

Poop goes the unnamed source

Sources tell NB: QB's mom is a Soup Nazi, Jets have a sexy new kicker (see photo), and Redskins name is becoming a deep subject
We see and hear it everywhere. In combing the Internet, newspapers, radio and ESPN for a bit of gridiron news to help us score our daily football fix, we see the "unnamed league source" quoted in countless stories. It's not just in sports, as you news hounds well know. The unnamed source pops up in articles of all topics ranging from Reggie Bush to George W. Bush. Reading that Adam Vinatieri could be kicking in Dallas in 2006 is exciting news, I'm sure, for Cowboys fans. However, reading the news attributed to an unnamed source damages the credibility of the report, turning the information from possible news to just another rumor filling up space on the Web. That's not to say these unnamed sources are always wrong. Hardly. It's just increasingly difficult to know who and what to trust. (Chad in the J.C. keeps going on about some dude named Deep Throat who knew a little something about the Nixon administration.) Now, with all that in mind, Naked Bootleg has decided to do the same and call on our own unnamed sources. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Well, we're not exactly trying to beat anybody here. Spank? Maybe. So, without further pooh-pooh, here is what unnamed league sources are telling Naked Bootleg.

An unnamed league source tells Naked Bootleg that…

Donovan McNabb's mother is easily irritated, holds grudges and has become a bit of a "Soup Nazi" to those in the Philadelphia Eagles organization. Despite the "team mom" image portrayed on Campbell's Soup TV ads, McNabb's mother often withholds soup, we're told, when she thinks her son's teammates and coaches have gotten out of line. Our source tells us that one night last September, McNabb's mother repeatedly called Terrell Owens' house, screaming into the phone, "No soup for you, T.O. No soup for you."

The New York Jets have signed Russian female soccer player Natalia Kiriyenko (above – well, not really) to handle the team's field goal kicking duties in 2006. The Jets are trading a first-round draft pick and that fourth-round pick they got for Herm Edwards to the soccer club for Kiriyenko, according to our source.

The notoriously cheap Pittsburgh Steelers have decided to finally put its logo on both sides of its helmet.

The Washington Redskins are ready to give in to pressure and drop the politically incorrect moniker the team has sported since 1933. Our source tells us the team will be called the Washington Deep Throats – in honor of Mark Felt, or course, not the porn movie – beginning with the 2007 season.